Pfizer # 1: ET9096
I’m 54, married, and have a 3 year old son. I had a ‘mid-life crisis’ at age 28, and over a period of 12 months lost everything (partner, house, etc). It resulted in me going on a search to find the reason I existed. I travelled around the world, pushing my mind, body and emotions to the brink, even going walkabout around the circumference of Australia, surviving on sponsored colostrum tablets for 42 days. At one stage I walked through the desert for 2 days without food or water, to face my fear of death. Through my experiences, I became extremely in tune with my body. I’ve felt, and overcome pain, hunger and thirst, and broken through mental, emotional, and physical barriers with 23 blisters on my feet, 30 flies on my face, not a penny to my name and faith to keep going – and I found peace on the journey. The trick I found was to become conscious of every thought in my mind, every emotional state I was in and every physical pain in my body. This, I believe, has enabled me to better deal with the physical, mental, emotional, and financial struggles I (like 1000’s of others) now face due to the Pfizer vaccine.
I’ve played the tuba (euphonium) for the last 44 years and entered into the New Zealand Defence Force in 2005 as a brass musician with the New Zealand Army Band (NZAB). I wanted the opportunity to travel, and this job gave me that. I took a break from the army for 3 years (2013-2016) to do dairy farming, then returned. My role for my last 3 years there (2018-2021) was ‘Drum Major’ of the NZAB. In this role, I trained and led the marching Band, and did the choreography of marching displays for national and international Tattoo’s, including the significant honour in 2019, of being awarded ‘The Pooley Sword’ (top prize) for the ‘Greatest contribution at the military tattoo’, performing 24 sold out shows in Edinburgh, Scotland. We also performed at Queen Elizabeth’s 90th Birthday in 2016. From a health and fitness perspective, I had no pre-existing conditions and was fitness facilitator of our unit for a number of years. I was at a Grade 1 fitness level, only requiring an annual fitness test (instead of 6 monthly) and had A1 health medicals over the 13 years I served.
Oct and Dec 2020 to Jan 2021, I was assigned to a security liaison officer role for the Canterbury Regional Managed Isolation Facilities, based at the HQ Christchurch. In January 2021, I counted up all the covid positive cases we’d had in Canterbury’s isolation facilities since they’d begun – about 230 cases, yet only single figures admitted to hospital. All were released into the community, with very few having to stay more than the required 14 day isolation. I’d then thought covid didn’t seem as bad as what we were being told. I’m not anti-vaxxer, when you join the army, you get plenty of vaccines. I didn’t have any concerns about getting covid due to my health and fitness level (I was doing 6km runs around Hagley Park in around 24 minutes daily), nor was I buying into the fear. When the vaccine became available for NZDF, The Chief of Army made a direct order that there was to be no coercion, threats or bullying around vaccination within the Army. I was happy about that as I’d been dubious from what we’d heard from overseas about vaccine injuries, but only 3 weeks later the Chief of Defence told us we were being mandated. At the time, we’d been travelling around NZ performing the Chief of Army’s Heartland Tour, cheering up the public with free concerts. We had some high-profile international invitations on the cards, so I knew international travel would be an issue for the unvaccinated. Because of my Drum Major role and regarded as one of the best marching bands in the world, there was massive pressure to receive the vaccine. Even though my intuition screamed “Don’t do it!”, I didn’t want to just leave, knowing the pressure and expectations that would be on my replacement.
The vaccines were being given in the camp medical centre. The main reaction from those within my unit was lethargy and being out of whack for 10-14 days afterwards. Three of us in our unit (of 32 pers) held out until last. I prepared my body for battle with vitamin C, D etc prior, and had my first (and only) Pfizer vaccine on the 12th of May 2021. The following day I developed fatigue and brain fog. I stopped exercising at that point as the fatigue felt like I was being pulled into the ground or trudging through mud (touring had been halted at the time too).
As it was a non-physical role, I’d been pushing through and just managing my workload, but week 3 post-vaccine, I called in sick to our medical centre for the first time – As NZDF were frontline, our medical centres were closed for walk-in consults and only took emergencies. I told them my symptoms and was told to get a PCR test and stay away until it was clear. Week 4, my family, and I went to Dunedin. I walked our baby in his pram up and down the steep Dunedin hills which was ok at time, but the next evening, my legs felt frozen from the inside out. I felt cold in my bones from the knees down, a sensation like growing pains. The following morning it felt like an ice cube had formed in my right lung. It was cold and itchy, but I couldn’t get to it to give it any relief. Week 5, I called in sick to our medical centre and was again told to get a PCR test. I mentioned I’d felt off since the vaccine, no reply. Week 6, I was due for my second Pfizer vaccine, but in the Army, we can’t have a vaccine if we have respiratory symptoms (I had the lung issue), so it was postponed. On week 8 they questioned me; I told them again I’d not been well since the first vaccine. I never rebooked the second dose.
On the 19th of July I called the medical centre as I still had symptoms. When I told them I wanted the doctor to lodge an adverse reaction to the vaccine, they had me in seeing my doctor within an hour. A student doctor in training listened to my lungs after my doctor. My doctor asked her what she thought. She said, “I believe he has pneumonia”, and he responded, “As this person is really fit, it’s concerning”. I told him I hadn’t been well since the vaccine and about the ice cube in the lung sensation. He prescribed heavy duty antibiotics, and I was put on sick leave – I felt grateful to have a diagnosis as it was mentally draining not knowing what was wrong. The pain had been different to anything I’d experienced before.
In August, the doctor sent me for an x-ray to check if there was still fluid on my lungs – it came back clear, but I was still struggling. The next day I couldn’t move again. We were due to have our fitness tests done at the end of September, so I thought I’d get back into running. We were in lockdown at the time and my doctor rang for a phone consult, a couple of days after my first post-vaccine run. I said I’m being positive and felt ok, but he could hear me puffing and asked why. I was walking and talking at the same time and told him I can’t really do that anymore. He said he’d request a CT scan and will see me when he was back from leave in early October. A few days later I went for a second slow run around the 4km camp with my dog. At the 3km point I hit the wall, I couldn’t breathe and was gasping audibly. I made my way back to the house and my wife gave me her asthma puffer to take, which helped. From that point on, I couldn’t go outside in the cold because my lungs would burn, which meant I couldn’t take our baby out on our daily walks (which played on me), and I was needing to have nana naps during the days. I was getting worse every day.
I saw another doctor late September, as my doctor was on leave. He gave me 4 days of steroids (thinking it was Asthma, which I didn’t have) and said he’d see me Thursday afternoon. The steroids had no effect at all. On the Wednesday night when I went to bed, I had a painful sensation from my right side ribs, up behind my shoulder to behind my right ear. On the Thursday, my wife had already left for work when I woke at 6.30am, with the whole right side of my body tingling – my first thought was that I was having a stroke. In the mirror I could see my mouth drooping, and face slightly drooping as well. A colleague came to drop his dog off at 8am and asked what was going on with me. I told him I thought I was having a stroke. He asked me what I was going to do about it, I said I had a doctors appt in the afternoon but would pull it forward. He said to call if I needed anything and left. He told a colleague at work about my comment, and decided he best come back, but I’d already left to go to the doctor. When I got out of my vehicle I was limping on my right side too. The doctor called an ambulance when he saw me. When getting me ‘needle ready’, with the cannula for any meds, the right side of my body started shaking. The nurse asked if I was cold, I said no. It continued in the ambulance – the paramedic had also asked if I was cold.
My CT scan showed scarring revealing I’d had 2 strokes PRIOR to whatever was happening to me that day. I told them about the incident on my run 10 days before, and they determined that was probably one of them. As my vitals were all fine and the shaking subsided (though the right side of my body was weak, and my right shoulder dropped), they sent me home with an anti-coagulant and pain relief. When we drove past the camp fitness track on the way home, I told my wife I was going to get out of the car and run as fast as I could around the track until I collapsed (so they’d actually investigate what was going on with me). She growled at me, but THIS is how frustrated I felt.
After the strokes, I went back to my regular doctor. He told me he’d arrange a bunch of tests, but I told him “You’re looking at the stuff you do know, but what’s happening is the stuff you don’t know. If you don’t acknowledge this is an adverse reaction from the vaccine, I’ll leave”. The next week he printed off a raft of medical journal articles and was reading them as I sat in his office, he kept saying “F*** me” and “I had no idea this was going on – everything I’m reading is what you’re telling me is happening you, and it’s happening to others” He’d been supportive, but he knew from this point.
After being so sick for 4 months, now on full time sick leave, and no longer prepared to have the second vaccine, I decided to just leave (thinking I would recover). I gave my 3 months’ notice to leave the army and my leaving date was the 21st of November 2021. All pers must pass a full medical before they can be discharged, but by November, I still wasn’t in any condition to pass a full medical, so my commander and doctor pushed the date out to 21st of May 2022, hoping I’d be fine by then.
In October, my doctor was excited to secure an appointment for me with a Neurologist in Christchurch who was a detective type. The Neurologist said, “An Offence has been committed against this body, and I will find the perpetrator”, he organised a Brain MRI, Chest CT scan, and an Echocardiogram. The MRI and CT scan confirmed what they already knew, and in December I had the (bubble) echocardiogram. As soon as they released the bubbles, the doctor visibly reacted as the bubbles showed a significant hole in my heart. I have a family history of holes in the heart, 2 of my 4 sisters have had heart operations for it. My heart had been checked, and cleared of any issues in the mid 90’s. If indeed it’s been with me all my life, it never hindered my fitness.
In October, I went to a herbalist who did a live blood analysis and showed me that my white blood cells were attacking the poison in my body, depleting my cell count. He noted I was lucky I had a lot of white blood cells. He said he’d seen many vaccine injuries. I also described to him what I was feeling in my body, that it feels like the ice cube in my chest is like a mother ship that’s constantly there, and it’s sending out what feels like little worms or like maggots crawling through my veins and muscles, and other times like electric pulsating currents. It’s mainly in my legs, but also other isolated parts of my body including front right brain, back left, back right, etc, then the sensation dissipates and goes back to the mothership in my lung. I might have 4 or 5 parts of my body under attack at any one time. I started taking a diary of what I experienced, but couldn’t keep up with it, as the moment I documented what was happening in my body, things would happen elsewhere, it constantly moves. He made up a herbal remedy, but like almost everything else, it didn’t help much.
In September 2021, my wife and I had bought a house bus and were planning to explore the country and do fruit picking and other labouring jobs, bringing our child up on the road for a stint, but it was apparent I couldn’t do any physical work and was put on permanent sick leave. We left Burnham in December, going north to Murupara to be with family for support. There are a couple of doctors aware of vaccine injuries in Murupara who have been ostracised in the media for speaking out. I was sent by them to Whakatane hospital after my d-dimer result was twice what it should be, along with chest pain and shortness of breath. The first doctor I saw didn’t want to know a thing. I’d mentioned to her also about having some excruciating pain intermittently in my legs, which doesn’t stay in one place and keeps moving around. It feels like lactic acid after you’ve been training (this is ongoing). I asked her whether it might be related to everything else going on, she said it wasn’t, and sent me for another Chest/CT scan which only revealed what we already knew. There was a shift change, so I asked the new doctor all the same questions. This one gave me all different answers, and said yes the leg issue is 100% related, and makes sense because of the lack of oxygen in my blood.
Early February 2022, I received an email from my Commanding Officer stating my contract would be terminated from NZDF by the end of February 2022 if I was not fully vaccinated. My doctor then had a call from my immediate commander to ‘encourage’ me to get the second vaccine. My doctor went to get a second opinion from a cardiologist. The cardiologist said, “Tell him to get his second vaccine”, but didn’t request to see my medical history at all. When my doctor shared this, I told him I would not be getting the second vaccine – He was glad I’d stuck to my guns. On the basis of my decision, I received another letter saying my contract would be terminated, but then a court decision overturned the mandate requirement for NZDF (and Police) on the 25th of February 2022. The next letter stated my contract was reinstated.
On the 3rd of March 2022, I spent 1.5 hours telling my story to another Neurologist in Christchurch (I was referred to him by my original Neurologist). When I asked him what the diagnosis is, he said I displayed all the signs of Long-covid, though in his report, stated I conform to the symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome and, that in his opinion, I would not be able to fulfill my duties with the New Zealand Army. I asked him what the fix is, he said, “I’m sorry, there is none. I suggest an operation to plug the hole in your heart, but that won’t fix your condition, just future proof you from further strokes”. When my Army doctor got the report, he said he was submitting me for medical discharge and that I’d be covered by insurance and would continue to be paid for 2 years. He expected to have an answer in about 3 weeks, but near the end of March, I was told the Chief Medical Officer put a block on it, saying he needed more information. My doctor had also submitted a vaccine injury claim to ACC at the same time in March, but ACC are denying ever receiving a claim from the Army. Mid-March I had covid, my existing symptoms were about 8 times worse over 3 days, then reverted back to what they were before. In August 2022 a doctor I now see diagnosed me with neutropenia and leukopenia (depletion of white blood cells), making me more susceptible to infection. This was the first time it was picked up medically (the herbalist, in October, saw depletion was happening then). I had been taking the post-vaccine FLCCC protocol, but the only thing that gave any relief was Ivermectin. If my breathing is tight, I take it and get relief within 20 minutes, so I take it when I need it. The medical fraternity insists it doesn’t work, but I can confirm, for me, it works. The last script (of 121 capsules) cost $666.00 and I’ve had 2 lots so far. My doctor has even had to face the Medical Council for prescribing it.
The Health Forum NZ indirectly connected me with a vaccine injured solider and “United we stand” – formed by service members of NZ Police, NZ Defence Force, and NZ Fire service who were mandated out of their jobs. They advised the court rule had been overturned in NZ Defence Force and they were mandating again, so I was asked to submit a sworn affidavit for a court case against this. The head lawyer was an ex-defence lawyer, and there were 3 or 4 other serious injury cases included. I believe the Chief Medical officer had said there are no vaccine injured in the army (but had not seen any official documents to this effect), but the Army doctor had said he’d never seen so many pericarditis cases coming through since the rollout began. I asked the Army doctor if he’d write a testimony for my affidavit, but he noted that if he put his name to something that goes to court, he’s out of a job. In my final lines of my affidavit I stated, “If the Government, the medical council and the media didn’t know that that these things were going on, it’s incompetence to the highest degree, but if they did know it’s going on, it’s nothing less than evil”. The court case proceeded on the 21st of September 2022. A case like this would usually take about 8 weeks to rule with the amount of submitted content, but within a few weeks (unexpectedly fast), the judge ruled that NZDF can keep their mandates. After the case, two ex-army officers reached out to me. One went through a similar experience trying to get an insurance payout, and they wanted to help or support me where they could. They wrote an email on my behalf, to The Chief of Army (CA) to support and escalate my case, regarding not having any answers for my medical discharge. The CA then asked a Lieutenant Colonel to investigate and provide him a report of my case. The CA knew who I was as he had awarded me his commendation in my Drum Major role, for our success at the 2019 Military Tattoo, plus he’d tasked me personally in March 2021 to choreograph a marching display with music, for the 175th anniversary of the NZ Army, giving me only 3 weeks’ notice. After the CA got involved in my case and after months of silence, I was forwarded an email from a liaison officer who’d had questions for me, and they’d attached a trail with an email from the ‘Primary Medical Officer’ about my case that stated, “On the strokes alone, he should be eligible for medical payout – we don’t need to mention the vaccine”. They had left the CA off that trail and mentioned in the email the CA was expecting a report back with the outcome.
I have no issues with Army, or the CA (who I respect very much) – I have issues with the Chief Medical Officer. In November, my Army doctor said he’d been ordered not to speak to me and had been threatened with legal action if he did. I’d be surprised if the CA knew of this.
Mid-November, I was in bed reading, when below my heart it felt like a knife was stabbed into my chest. It was 10/10 pain, almost throwing me out of bed, then the pain dissipated. It happened two nights in a row and then not again until Sunday night (18th of December), it happened while I was sleeping, and was the most violent wake up I’ve ever experienced. A week after the stabbing pains in November, I’d be walking around, then felt what was like a knitting needle, being stabbed into my inner ear – my legs would buckle with the pain. This happened multiple times in one day, where I felt it coming each time, then the stabbing pain would disappear. It feels like I’m a character inside an online game, and an outside force is pressing buttons on a console and I’m under attack.
My doctors in Murupara are convinced I have Pericarditis, (which the doctor advised now has an adverse event rate of about 1 in 800) but I require a cardiac MRI with contrast to clearly diagnose it. I was in the doctor’s office when she’d called the place that does the cardiac MRI with contrast, and they told her they do them privately for $1,800 and that the earliest available appointment is the first week of December. They then sent an online questionnaire for me that I completed on the 23rd of November. I emailed them on the 12th of December asking how far off the MRI will be, and had my email returned saying ‘access denied’. However, they’d responded on Friday 9th December to our medical centre saying they don’t do private Cardiac MRIs and advised I’d been denied an appointment. My doctor was visibly shocked.
A week ago, I had another ECG, and my doctor advised my left ventricle is under heavy strain. She sent me to hospital, saying this is the evidence needed to urgently get the MRI, but the head ED doctor sat on my bed with crossed arms and said “So, you’re from Murupara are you? Tell me what’s going on”. As soon as I told him it began after the vaccine his eyes glazed over, and I know it was going to be a waste of time. He told me he didn’t need to know all that stuff, and that my ECG’s are totally normal. He said to come back if was short of breath, and I told him I’m short of breath all the time. He looked at me for a couple of seconds, then turned and walked away. As I was leaving ED he exclaimed to another doctor “Oh what, they’re sending another one in from Murupara?” (A woman from Murupara was there too). He turned and pointed at me, “He’s going back to Murupara, maybe he can give her a ride”. The other doctor chuckled and said to me “Would you like to give her a ride back to Murupara?” I just thought, ‘Wow’. I’m not angry. I can’t afford to be angry. I’m on some closed injury chat groups and read that everyone is going through the same shit – it’s really sad.
The ice cube in my right lung feels like it has now broken up into 100’s of smaller cubes throughout my right lung. It’s no longer constant (it was for 5 months), but I still find myself itching/rubbing my right chest to try and sooth the sensation. My legs are always in pain and I still suffer with brain fog and fatigue. I try to get out on the farms and do a bit of work for my mental health, but I need to be careful as my heart rate spikes, and I suffer with palpitations and chest pain. If I do have pericarditis to go with blood clotting and a hole in my heart, then I have a sitting time bomb sitting in my chest. I have to stay positive and focused and try to find things to be appreciative about every day, otherwise everything that’s going on in my body is all I’m ever thinking about. There have been many nights where I wonder if I’ll wake up in the morning – it feels like being on death row with all the pains and not knowing what’s coming. I overcame my fear of death in my 20’s, and if It’s going to happen, I accept it. The physical, mental, emotional and financial toll (I haven’t been paid since May 2022 and my savings are disappearing), this is having on 100’s of us is immense, and to be ignored by the government, medical fraternity and mainstream media is absolutely disgusting.